Wrestling Booze Review – Iceberg Float Vs. Tuborg Green


As the Crowd settles down the lights go down in the Booze Reviews Arena.  “One More Beer” by Stone Clover starts to play and you see the announcers come down to their table with two mugs of beer!


Announcer 1 – Good Evening folks and welcome to a special event tonight! We have had a challenge issued and we have a few more matches but first up we are going to have Iceberg Float and Tuborg Green in a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH!

Announcer 2 – That’s right, the newcomer into the Booze Reviews world was challenged when they were trying to have an interview.  If you ask me, Tuborg was totally out of line on this one.

Announcer 1 – Was he?  Really was he? I mean Tuborg has been around since 1873, and Iceberg thinks they can just waltz in here and take over?

Announcer 2 – Well they weren’t taking over they were…


Announcer 2 – Get an original line!   Anyways folks this looks like it will be a very interesting start to our night and it looks like they are ready to go so let’s go to the Ring announcer to bring our contestants in shall we?

Ring Announcer – Ladies and Gentlemen this is a NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH, meaning anything can happen!  *Thunderstruck by AC/DC starts to play*  Introducing first from Fredericia, Denmark, weighing in at 4.6% and 500 ml.  HEREEEEE IS TUUUUUUUBOOOOORRRRGGGG.

* The Crowd Cheers as Tuborg comes down the ramp to the ring*

Announcer 1 – This is going to be tough for our challenger, this beer is very well respected in the Booze World.

Announcer 2 – Yeah, and I have a feeling he has some stuff for our challenger too.

The lights go down and “Moby Dick-Bonzo's Montreux” by Led Zeppelin starts to play

Announcer 1 – Is this the song they chose?

Announcer 2 – I’m not sure, but it sure is a upbeat song…..

Announcer 1 – Well I guess we will find out if they even survive this match if they come out to a new song for the next one….

Ring Announcer -  Introducing from Kelowna, Canada coming in at 6.8% and 1.75 Liters, being led in by Painkiller, please welcome ICCCEEEEEEEBERRRRG FLOAT!   *The Crowd Cheers a bit louder*

Announcer 1 – Well this is going to be quite the match here folks, we have some exciting things expected for this match I imagine, being a No Holds Barred match anything can happen!

Announcer 2 - … AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT IS GOING TO!!! As we have a masked beer coming from the back and he just gave Iceberg a double axe handle from behind!

Announcer 1 – DIRTY POOL!!! Well looks like we are under way here as Painkiller tried to get in the way of the attacker and Iceberg but now he just got clotheslined to the concrete and he is out!  The masked attacker now has picked up Iceberg and has brought him down and tossed him into the ring. The attacker now is going back to the top of the ramp and watching the match from there. Tuborg is now just strutting around with confidence and yelling at Iceberg as he is pretty much out on the mat.

Tuborg – Welcome to the big leagues Iceberg… you think you were just going to come in here and walk all over everyone?

Announcer 2 – He better do something or pin him … he is killing valuable time right now

Announcer 1 – Relax… Tuborg has been around the block enough times to know how much time he has…

Announcer 2 – Aren’t you a little bias for an announcer!  Well it looks like Tuborg has trash talked enough and has picked up Iceberg from the mat, he tosses iceberg against the ropes as he flies off of the other side of the ropes. They meet in the middle and … OH MY GOD! They just ran into each other and Tuborg goes hard to the mat and Iceberg is just standing there!

Announcer 1 – I told you he wasted too much time! It looks like Iceberg has the upper hand.. but wait.. the attacker is coming down the ramp again, I’m not sure that Iceberg sees him coming, hang on he is just waiting in the middle of the ramp.  Iceberg now picks up Tuborg and slams him to the mat! WOW he almost slammed him THROUGH the mat!

Announcer 2 – I think he pissed off Iceberg.

Announcer 1 – Now Iceberg has the advantage and bounces off of the rope and BUCKET DROPS him! Oh I think he dented Tuborg!! Iceberg is now picking up Tuborg and he slams him into the turnbuckle with such force! Iceberg is now slamming Tuborgs head into the turnbuckle as the crowd starts to count every time Tuborgs head hits! … WAIT a min.. Tuborg now has turned the tables with an swift blow to the mid bucket of Iceberg!  Iceberg is stumbling back.  Now Tuborg leaps at Iceberg knocking iceberg down and the ref is starting to count! 1, 2, …. ICEBERG KICKS OUT!

Announcer 2 – That was CLOSE!

Announcer 1 – Looks like Tuborg is calling down the masked attacker and he has something in his hand…. It is a crutch? Really??!?

Announcer 2 – Well I thought it would be a chair or something, but .. ok…

Announcer 1 – he is getting closer to the ring and WHAT??  Painkiller is up and he is behind the attacker! He has just picked him up and he grabs the crutch and has hit the attacker with it.. the attacker is out!!  Tuborg sees this and he is up against the ropes screaming at Painkiller! Painkiller grabs the mask off of the attacker and what is this!! IT IS TREE BREWINGS KELOWNA PILSNER!! What is he doing here?!?! Well this just got REALLY interesting!

Announcer 2 – LOOK OUT!!!

Announcer 1 – ICEBERG IS UP!! Iceberg has Tuborg and spins him around! And throws him against the ropes! Tuborg comes off of the ropes and gets POWERSLAMED! TUBORG IS OUT!!! It looks like Iceberg isn’t done yet!  He is going to the top ropes and jumps off of it… YES this is the finishing move we heard about backstage… it is the CITRUS SLAM!

There is the pin!


The ref and crowd count… 1, 2, 3!!! The bell goes and ICEBERG WINS!

Announcer 2 – What a match that was! Wow, I thought Tuborg would have had this but it appears that he wasn’t expecting quite the fight from Iceberg!

Announcer 1 – It also appears that we aren’t done yet!  Iceberg is motioning to Painkiller to bring over the “supplies”  and here comes PK with the glass and the spoon….

Announcer 2 – I’m not sure about this.. this… seems a bit .. odd.

Announcer 1 – … and wrestling alcoholic beverages doesn’t?

Announcer 2 – Good point!

Announcer 1 – Well it looks like PK is in the ring and Iceberg is holding Tuborg and PK has an actual Can of Tuborg…. And he is opening it up in front of the other Tuborg… Tuborg is shaking his can no… this is really getting to him! PK now has a container of Iceberg Float and he opens it up and spoons it into the glass….


Then takes the can of Tuborg and is putting it into the glass as well!! I’m not sure what do you think … will it be good??


Announcer 2 – Only time will tell! I’m just glad they didn't bust each other open like in the last match.. that was a little creepy!

Announcer 1 – PK takes a drink and  grabs the mic once again!

Painkiller: Tuborg there is NO need to be afraid of what is going on in this glass my friend! This is an amazing combo! The flavors you bring with your Pilsner is perfect for the Citrus goodness that Iceberg has! This is something that you needed a little extra boost, without Iceberg you are just that… a good Pilsner…. However with Iceberg mixed in.. you are great.. you are better than great.. you have the Citrus, the vodka, the ice slush, and just the all-around flavors not only to keep you cool but to give you that extra boost you need! This is what you need… ICEBERG is what you need, just think… Iceberg and you.. and a beach with a lot of people enjoying both of you together! It is something that you are destined for… greatness!

*Tuborg is slowly released by Iceberg as he looks around…. He looks over at Iceberg, and they SHAKE!*

Painkiller – See you know it was a great match tonight.. and now.. you guys know it is a great match together in a glass! BOTH of you will be rockin’ the real world, this combo is not a bad one.. it is a great one! And when others know about this.. they too will want to get drunk and buy again knowing that me as a reviewer is strongly recommending it to everyone else out there with a 4/5 for taste, enjoyably and the want to drink it over and over again!  Iceberg has given new life to Tuborg, it truly is a great drink to  have!


*PK holds up his glass to the crowd and shouts cheers as both Tuborg and Iceberg go on either side of Painkiller.

Painkiller puts down his glass and holds up both Tuborg and Iceberg signifying that the drink is a full on win for everyone!

As this is happening Kelowna Pilsner is standing up and starts to walk backwards to the top of the stage area.  Iceberg sees this and goes towards the ropes, and looks at Kelowna Pilsner and motions Kelowna to get into the ring.  Kelowna grabs a mic at the top of the ramp and starts to speak*

Kelowna – I’m sorry Iceberg, but another time…. It appears I maybe out-numbered there, however you will have your chance to meet me in the squared circle.  For now though.. enjoy your victory.. as it may be your last!

*Kelowna drops the mic and walks back stage as we see Painkiller, Tuborg and Iceberg all celebrating in the ring*

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